Bullying has a whole new face,thanks to technology

Middle School has bully prevention week Warwick — It can be as subtle as a kid rolling her eyes. It can be as obvious as name-calling. It can escalate into a full-fledged fight on the playground or it can simmer for what seems to be an eternity, causing anxiety and fear. It can injure a child inside as well as out. It is bullying. “Bullying is an issue, not a problem,” said Rebecca Rand, a guidance counselor at the Warwick Valley Middle School. “We want kids to know they have someone to talk to. The guidance department started this program about six years ago. Every year we enhance it to meet the needs of the school and society. This year we included a survey for sixth and seventh graders. We get their opinions on bullying in the middle school as well as their suggestions — how kids can assist. It is still in the process but we have gotten some good feedback so far.” Starting in the sixth grade, kids learn how bullying begins, Rand said. “We help sixth graders identify it. Do words make you feel uncomfortable? Find an adult and tell them,” she said. “That is what we stress. Sixth grade is a good start. They are on their own more. Middle School is all about fitting in with your peers. It is a time they start to develop more empathy. You can tell a sixth grader “How would you feel if that happened to you?” Bullying in the age of IMs and cell phones And what the kids in the Warwick Valley Middle School learned last week was that bullying has taken on a whole new face, thanks to the technology they have become accustomed to. When we think of bullying we usually think of the big, strong kid picking on the smaller, weaker kid. Name-calling, a little shoving, maybe even a fight that can leave the smaller kid physically battered and afraid. While that still happens, what is happening much more frequently is cyber bullying. “Cyber bullying is a faceless threat,” said Principal John Kolesar. “Sometimes parents have no idea what’s going on. It is so important that kids tell an adult. Don’t keep it to yourself.” A presentation on cyber bullying was given to all eighth graders last week. It was put together by the guidance department and included a five-minute movie about Joe, a kid in England who was bullied—both in the traditional sense and through technology. Kids taunted him for participating in class. The movie showed kids laughing at him, playing pranks, but also showed how cyber bullying can be emotionally devastating. “It never lets up,” said Kolesar. “Cyber bullying is 24-seven. There is no escape.” Anonymous and relentless The kids in Joe’s school texted him constantly with nasty messages. They used instant messaging to call him names anonymously. They used their cell phone cameras to take pictures of him to use on a Web site they set up to mock him. He suffered in silence. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. He sat in front of his video camera and told his story. His mom found the camera and went to the school and the police. The end of the film showed law enforcement coming to the school to arrest those involved. Joe was seen smiling, relieved, talking with other kids. Throughout the movie, in the background, was the song “Still Fighting It” by Ben Folds. “Everybody knows it hurts to grow up.” Photos on the Internet are there forever Assistant Principal Robert Albanese, who presented the movie to a group of about 40 eighth-grade students, told them some sobering statistics. “More than 58 percent of you have been or will be cyber bullied before you are out of college,” he said. “It happens throughout college and begins in elementary school now.” The group that afternoon was mesmerized by the presentation. There weren’t any comments or laughs; no whispers or snickering. The kids listened and they answered questions afterward. “Taking pictures of students against their will is bullying,” said Albanese. “What can you do with those pictures?” “Put it on Photoshop and do nasty things,” answered one student. And once something is on the Web, it’s out there. You can’t get it back, said Albanese. The school is not just taking on bullying for the week. Kolesar said this week is really to raise awareness in the kids and to teach them that some behaviors are actually bullying. He said there are ongoing programs at the Middle School, such as the Girls Leadership Program led by Barbara Priestner-Werte, that are educating kids throughout the year. “We are dealing with these issues in very positive ways,” said Kolesar. Photos came from the following sources: www.nobully.com/graphics/bullies; www.thenewspaper.org.uk; www.primarytimes.net/images; and Linda Smith Hancharick.